Making It Work
by ugliestcelery24
Summary: Sheldon needs to learn to play by Amy's rules or risk losing her forever.


Chapter 1

Sheldon Cooper knew a little bit about everything. Most things he knew a lot of bit about. He could rattle off numerous mathematical formulas, state the origins of both popular and obscure phrases, and list the date of nearly every historical event, all at the drop of a hat. He could play multiple instruments, including the Theremin, and while not coordinated enough to play them, had a working knowledge of some sports. He wasn't just smart; he was super-duper smart. So why was it that Sheldon couldn't figure out this particular algorithm?

"Is this okay?" asked Amy, looking up at him from her kneeling position between his legs, her palms sliding up and down his thighs, inching higher on each up-stroke.

Sheldon held the eye contact for a moment before sighing and looking away. This was the most risqué thing they had done so far and it still wasn't producing any results. "I don't know," he answered honestly.

Amy's eyebrows furrowed. "What do you mean?" He expected to hear the usual exasperation or disappointment in her voice, but was only able to discern a natural curiosity in her tone.

"It's just… We've been doing these 'intimacy' sessions for weeks now, and I still haven't really felt anything. I mean, obviously I feel it when you massage my shoulders, or when you rub my chest, or when we kiss, but what I don't feel is the arousal one expects under such circumstances. You might as well be touching my arm for all the good this is doing," Sheldon explained. He gestured for Amy to get off her knees and guided her to what had become her spot on the couch. "I'm trying, I swear I'm trying, it's just… What if I'm not programmed to be with anyone in this capacity, Amy?" The expression on his face grew bitter as he snorted at the irony of the whole situation. "All those years spent wishing I was a robot, and now all I want is to feel more human."

Amy thought for a moment before suddenly standing before him. "I know these intimacy sessions were my idea, but I'd like to make a proposal," she stated.

Sheldon's interest was piqued. "I'm listening."

Amy started to pace. "Maybe we're going about this process all wrong. I mean, we've seen how Leonard and Penny and Howard and Bernadette go about their own romances. Though they are decisively lower than either of us on any measure of intelligence that actually counts, all four individuals score higher in interpersonal intelligence than the two of us combined."

"Speak for yourself. I'm a peach to be around," said Sheldon, jokingly. Amy stopped pacing and looked at him with one eyebrow raised. "Go on."

"Both relationships have a more impulsive nature than our own. Initially, we thought that both relationships were doomed to fail due to a lack of written documentation stating any and all obligations of each party within each relationship. Do you remember this discussion?" asked Amy.

"Amy," started Sheldon, condescendingly. "I have an eidetic memory. Of course I remember. It was a sunny Friday–"

"Yes, well," Amy interrupted, "despite not having drawn up a single document, both relationships are secure in the areas of emotional support and physical intimacy."

Sheldon thought for a moment, then said, "I'm not going to like where this is going, am I?"

Amy shook her head. "Nope."

Sheldon sighed and stood up as well, one hand on his hip, the other gesticulating wildly. "You want to do away with the Relationship Agreement, don't you? Learn by observation? Fly by the seat of our pants, if you will?"

"Yes to all three," said Amy, nodding vigorously.

Now Sheldon was the one pacing. "Did your mother have you tested? Because that's the most absurd thing I've ever heard, and you should hear some of the things that come out of Wolowitz's mouth!"

Amy rolled her eyes. "Oh, please! We don't follow it half the time anyway..."

"What do you mean, we don't follow it?!"

Amy, too, was motioning wildly with her hands. "All I'm saying is that a little spontaneity might… get your motor running, so to speak."

"Get my motor—? Amy, are you listening to yourself?!" shrieked Sheldon.

All the fight seemed to go out of Amy at that moment. "I'm confused, Sheldon. What have we been working toward these last few weeks if the ultimate goal wasn't sexual intimacy?"

Sheldon sat down on the couch and placed both hands over his face, slowly dragging them down. "No, you're right. That was the goal."

Amy remained standing and crossed her arms over chest. "You know what I think? I think that you're full of it. All that talk about 'trying so hard' and 'not being programmed that way,' when in reality, nothing's happening because you're fighting it. I think that the part of you that's still a scared little boy is happy that the intimacy sessions aren't producing results because he thinks I'll give up after awhile and things will go back to how they were."

Sheldon tried to speak, but Amy kept going. "Well I'll tell you what, Dr. Cooper. I'm not giving up. Things are NOT going back to how they were. We're going to drop the Relationship Agreement. We are NOT going to plan every moment of our relationship before it happens. We'll observe our friends' relationships for social cues on hand holding, kissing, and other displays of intimacy and report our findings. And most importantly, if either of us feels any sort of impulse to kiss, caress, or otherwise touch the other, we are going to act on it and go from there. Understood?"

"But—!"

Before Sheldon could protest, Amy continued. "I'll give you 24 hours to consider my proposal, Dr. Cooper." She gathered up her purse and walked toward the door, but paused before fully opening it. She had one hand on the door knob as she turned to Sheldon. "I can't keep doing this, Sheldon. It's not healthy for either of us."

Sheldon took a moment to consider what she was saying. "So this is an ultimatum, then, not a proposal."

The two held eye contact for what felt like eternity before Amy spoke. "Yes," was all she said as she opened the door and walked out of his apartment. It was up to him to make sure she hadn't just walked out of his life.


End file.
